Introducing my pages: AJ’s Pages
AJ’s Pages is a series that I am starting on my blog My Pages, where I would mostly share my personal thoughts and experiences. AJ’s Pages are the pages from my personal diary that I write in real-time as I am experiencing life.
I have been told by multiple people, what’s the point of writing if I don’t show it to the world. I never thought it is important and I don’t think it is important. I still don’t think it is necessary for me to share all those poems and stories with anybody. But this time, while I was writing my journal I thought, why not? I have always been very mysterious about my feeling and thoughts. Sometimes because I feel like it could be very corny for people to read and understand and other times, I just don’t want people to know about me.
As long as I remember, I have been writing, for myself. Throughout the years, my grammar and vocabulary have improved which I am proud of since English is not my first language. But never in my life have I ever been hindered by the lack of words or incorrect grammar to express exactly what I think. In one way or the other, I have always managed to convey what I want to through writing, even when I fail to explain to people verbally. The stream of consciousness writing (where you don’t care about spellings or grammar; it’s just like blurting words out on paper in a way that the reader can track the fluid mental state of these characters), according to me, is the best way for me to do it. That’s why this time I don’t want to focus on the grammar of my writing but the feeling of it. And why is grammar so important here? I think it’s overrated.
Around this new year, I wondered what would be my theme for 2021? What would be the major word that my life will revolve around in 2021? Alas! I couldn’t plan everything on time because I couldn’t think of anything. It only struck me after a week into the new year, which is today, that my word actually is ‘Romanticism’ and ‘Movie’. I don’t know for how long though?
Romanticism: A movement in the arts and literature that originated in the late 18th century, emphasizing inspiration, subjectivity, and the primacy of the individual. (Source: google.com)
Romanticism is a feeling to me, maybe somewhat similar to its historical meaning. According to how I understand it, it is the beautification of simple moments in life. For example, A rainy day can mean nothing to some people but that same sky can appear to be so beautiful to someone that it becomes their source of inspiration for poetry. And no, it’s not just the typical romance between the lovers that we are so used to seeing. I tend to romanticise life a lot. To me, my life is a movie and I am the only main character taking shape into it. All the other people that I know are all just supporting characters in it. I almost feel like a narcissist while writing and sharing this. So if that’s something that bothers you, it’s a warning to stop here.
What’s in it for you? I don’t know? You will have to see. This isn’t going to be a literary masterpiece. This is just a girl entering her 20s as she steps out in the world for the first time. Honestly, I don’t know what to expect either. These are just some open pages of my diary for everyone to read. I try writing almost every day while listening to music on my bed. If it resonates with someone out there, I’d be really glad to know. There’s nothing very special here. There’s nothing right or wrong here. Nothing here makes sense. If you’re still curious to see if you can take something from these entries, you’re most welcome!
